I am sure everyone has those "off" days when things just don't seem to work out. Well my "off" day just happened to land on a day when I have an interview:
Picture this, if you can...
It's snowing in Vancouver. And I'm on the number 3 Main street heading to South West Marine drive to my first job interview in 4 years. I have my clipboard binder clutched in my gloved hand and since it's snowing, and no one in Vancouver can drive in the snow, I was late. I called ten minutes before I was supposed to arrive and told Jim, the interviewer, I was going to be late and he said "that's okay". Six blocks from the nearest bus stop I find 173 West 71st street in an alley so broken apart and narrow it was a wonder that large delivery trucks actually got in and out of there, oh yea and it's right next to the dump so even in the middle of the snowy weather I could smell the pungent odour from the pit of refuse across the street.
In the door and up the stairs to an ornatly decorated recption desk where a very helpful girl not only got Jim right away for me but also made small talk to ease my wait. Out walks Jim a 300lb, 65-70 year old man with a huge mustache and and beard and apparently no muscle control over his neck because his jowel like chin has plunged into his chest and I can't tell one from the other. So from my perspective it looks like he was sizing up my thighs for lunch. I couldnt' tell if he was looking at me or thinking about how much he would like to take a nap but I tried to answer his questions while looking him in the eyes, I think...
"HI I'M JIM."
"Hello, Raymond"
We shake hands or at least I shook the meat hook he would call a hand.
"SO WHERE YOU FROM?"
"Well I just came from broadway and commercial."
"NO I MEAN WHERE YOU BORN?"
"Uhhh well I was born in Vancouver."
"WHAT DO YOU HOPE TO DO AFTER ALL THIS?"
*Thinking in my head "After all what? I grow old and truely have the ability to do what I want? What the fuck are you talking about?"*
"Well eventually I would like to do Set Construction"
Wait Wait back up...
Did I just tell him that I want to do something else with my life instead of work here?
ERRRRRRRRR Wrong answer! NEVER tell them in the interview that you want to do something else with your life.
"OH... WELL THEN WHY WOULD I WANT TO HIRE YOU IF YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING ELSE AFTEWARD?"
".........umm"
"WELL HOW ABOUT I GET PAUL TO SHOW YOU AROUND THEN!"
Jim leads me over to an office where I meet Paul. Paul is almost a foot shorter than me, wearing arctic boots that come almost up to his knees and a fleece vest that I can imagine mountain climbers have in their wardrobe for intense cold situations. Paul appears to be a nice guy except he seems to have no sense of humor or interest in others. First off he wanted to know about what I did between high school and the first job I had listed on my resume. I was thinking "What part of 'RELEVENT EXPERIENCE' is unclear on my resume? If what I did in that time frame was relevent to this job I would have put it on the page!"
Then when he asked what I did between finishing the Joinery program and now and I told him I went to Thailand.......he didn't ask me one question about it.
Didn't want to know how long I was there.
Didn't care about why I went.
Didn't want to know if I saw anyting interesting.
Nothing.
After the awkward review of my resume and telling him that I don't have a drivers license, making me even more unemployable, he starts to show me around the shop. I know I should have done my research on the company before hand but I didn't. It turns out that they do mainly "Architectural Veenering" and kitchen cabinets and doors but for the most part I hadn't really seen this type of work before so I was distractingly interested in the machines and quiet. When he would tell me "We usually load them automatically and unload them manualy, just to ensure that there is no chip out for the end product." I basically know what he is talking about but I've never used one of these machines before. I have no idea how to load the glue and which lever does what so I just stand there and nod. After the whole tour we go back upstairs and he asks me if I have any questions.
Shit... I knew I forgot something
I make up some on the spot questions and he answers them. But it seems that it takes him five minutes for him to answer the simplest thing like "How many apprentices do you have working for you right now?"
"Well ummm let's see *leans back in chair and counts looking at the celing* I think about....including...and....yea six.
No eight!
At this point I am laughing to myself because I know that if he already has eight apprentices working for him I doubt very highly that he wants another one. By this point I had been there for almost an hour and I think Paul is getting tired of my nodding so he says "So I guess I'll send you on your way."
Which translated from interviewese to English is: "Get out of my workshop"
I shake everyones hand, or meathook, and take my leave of one of the most awkward hours in my interview history.
And I used to be so good at convincing people to hire me with no experience.
Tune in next time Same Bat Ray, Same Ray Channel!
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1 comment:
Hi Raymon', I am cleaning out my email and came across your blog. Thought I would give it a little read (hope that's ok!?) and am I EVER glad I did! I love your description of the meaty man, omg, SO funny! he he
If I don't talk to or see you before Monday, have a great first day at your new job :)
1805 Sher
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